Quality over Cost

In regards to the title, I am referring to food, and complaints about the quality of the food as opposed to the cost. On Brickell, like most business areas, there are a number of restaurants, which to put it bluntly, are overpriced. Now that isn’t to say that there isn’t high quality food at a high cost, like Rosa Mexicana. However you also have a P.F. Changs. And yes, I know a lot of people rave about P.F. Changs, but quite frankly, if I want Chinese, I will go to a CHINESE restaurant, not some over salted, over priced restaurant where I am paying for the brand more than I am the crappy food.

There are many other restaurants, as I have mentioned in the past that do not live up to their expectation. Take Gordon Biersch. At first, this was a mainstay at the office. However, it has become quite apparent that food-wise, this place is a crappy, disorganized version of Chili’s trying to seem more upscale. I’m sorry, but if the majority of your menu is burgers and sandwiches, you need to leave the aura of pretension behind. And lately, the place has just been abysmal. A few weeks ago, the kitchen was hindered, and we were subjected to a limited menu. We left. Two weeks ago we were suckered into trying their seasonal beer (It was as if they repackaged Budweiser; i.e. it wasn’t impressive at all) and their Shrimp Poboy was fried salad shrimp on a hoagie, not in one. Last week my co-worker and I both got sick on their burgers. Now I won’t deny that their beers are fantastic. I love the Golden Export and the Marzen, as well I look forward to their Oktoberfest seasonal. But at this point, the place has become a slightly classy bar, with good bar food, but not a place I would attend for a real meal. And at the menu over $10 per item, it is low quality, high cost.

Ultimately, if you want a cheap burger or sandwich, it is far better to walk down the road to Tobacco Road, the oldest alcohol serving establishment in Dade County. It has gone through a number of changes over the decades, but will give you what you want; an opposite case from Gordon Biersh providing decent quality and low cost.

Then of course you have the cafeteria style restaurants. In them, you can get main course with two sides and a drink for less than $10. This is a lot more food than other restaurants, and it usually tastes much better. You get no image for eating there, but you do get satisfied. Unfortunately, one of the more diverse cafeterias has become finicky: depending on who the cook is, the food will either be fantastic, or warm cardboard. Low Quality, Low Cost, actual satisfaction.

You also have more restaurants advertising specific lunch menus with lunch prices to compete with the fact that 2 gallons of gas costs more than a meal. Mi-kan, the great Japanese restaurant on Brickell, actually operated by someone from Japan, has recently places 4 items on a “New Lunch Menu” for $8 and comes with rice, a california roll and soup. This is a great deal, but I still enjoy the bento boxes which are $3 more, but provide a good amount of tempura and salad as well. High Quality, Medium Cost.

Finally you do have the High Quality, High Cost restaurants, like Morton’s Steak House, and Abocado. Morton’s is one of the best restaurants on Brickell. Granted its no Bern’s (then again, nothing is), but it is a solid restaurant if you want a good steak and aren’t afraid to drop some cash. There are a lot of these in the area as I said.

Speaking of lunch, we are heading out now for lunch. New Employee means lunch on the company dollar, so hopefully it is one of the nicer places.

Jason Orkin, Eater

Cradle to the Grove

The Grove is one of the trendier areas of Miami. Plenty of upscale restaurants intermingled with dive-looking bars, as well as extravagant boutiques all smack in between the mayor’s office and the ghetto. Its a smaller, more natural and less pretentious Lincoln Road. Unfortunately it is falling on hard times.

Granted all the places of business in the Grove don’t exactly have the highest life expectancy. Stores come and go, although there are the perennials. The issue is that some of the more well known restaurants are starting to close down. According to the Miami Herald, Cafe Tu Tu Tango in Cocowalk is set to close. I’ve been to it, as well as the one in Atlanta, which also closed, and the one in Orlando. I have been a fan of the chain, and sad to see it go in place of… another bloody Starbucks. It seems that because of the renovation of new areas like Gables, Mary Brickell Village, the Design District, and of course South Beach, the Grove is on hard times.

While I am sad to see a restaurant I have enjoyed go, and crap take its place, that is not my main complaint. What is, however, is how the other restaurants and shops in the area are taking this new move. There is a diversity of food in the grove, but now, staff at restaurants are becoming a bit too strong in the hopes that they will have repeat customers. Waiting staff are clinging on to patrons, and it becomes annoying. It is depressing to see a business someone put a lot of effort into close down, but it is even worse to see the staff basically beg you to come back.

I hope there is a renewed drive into the Grove to keep classic establishments afloat, but only time can tell.

Jason Orkin, Patron

I feel that the Asian word for Ripoff is…

Indochine. Also, I am fully aware that there is no such thing as the Asian Language, I just wanted to make a point in regards to this horrible Thai/Japanese fusion restaurant.

Anyways, for those of you that don’t know, in Miami there is a sushi bar on every block. There also are very few people of Japanese decent living in Miami. All of these restaurants are either owned and operated by Koreans or Thais. That is not to say that there aren’t some extraordinary and wonderful sushi restaurants in Miami, and I suggest Matsuri, Su Shin or if you have money, Sushi Samba, however you also get a lot of, and I’m not going to sugarcoat it, shit restaurants that for some reason are insanely popular. This is true of any food variation, and I have learned a unique way of identifying which restaurants are the best. If you are going out for Chinese, and everyone eating in the restaurant is white, get out. If however you are going out for Chinese and everyone is of some Asian descent, stay. The Chinese know better Chinese Restaurants than any white person ever could. And thus the same goes for any ethnic group.

Well, what get Indochine on my black list is this story which started yesterday: my coworkers and I wanted sushi in the Brickell area. There are a few places in the area, but Indochine had a mix of Thai and Japanese, similar to my beloved Bangkok Square of Orlando, and that prompted my urge to go, and my coworkers were in agreement.

The place had that “trendy-crappy” feel to it, with the projection TV, retro style stools in front of the bar, and other knickknacks throughout. However the booths and the chairs looked like they had been stolen from the Titanic. Also, our booth was extremely claustrophobic. I was thankful I wasn’t a fat man, or they would have needed the jaws of life to get me out. Moving on, we opened the menu, which wasn’t bad. A few things stuck out as odd, like edamame for$6 and a california roll for $7, but we ordered away as the place quickly got packed. The group ordered Garlic Beef, Chicken Teriyaki Bento, and I ordered the Shrimp Teriyaki Bento.

Our soups came out first, the bentos with miso and the garlic beef coming with Tom Yum Gai. The miso wasn’t bad; my coworker said the Thai soup tasted like dish water. Next thing, the Garlic Beef shows up; between 5 and 10 minutes later the bentos arrive. I’m sorry, but who the hell brings out only one persons food. They could have easily waited to serve the group. Ahh, but as for the bentos… For $15 I got not 1, not 2, but 3 Shrimps. Not jumbo shrimp either. Also, I wouldn’t exactly call them teriyaki either. So I finished my shrimp, and looked across the table at my coworker with the teriyaki chicken making a face. We all ended up trying the “chicken”. We still don’t know what it really was, but none of us have ever had chicken of that texture before. We think it was really tofu.

So with our crappy meals completed, we paid and left and said to ourselves “We can get a better and cheaper bento at Finnegan’s, and probably more shrimp.” And we thought that would be the last time we ever had to deal with that overpriced, underfooded, and somehow popular restaurant.

I was wrong. My coworker this morning checked over her online banking and saw that they had charged her twice. She called, and their immediate response was “oh yeah, we get a lot of calls like that.” Turns out they double charge you to make sure you have money in your account. Which is bullshit because everyone in Brickell has money, just look at their Mercedez or Ferrari if you need proof; and double charging just means you take more money out of their account and in the case that they had no money in their, you would cause them to go into the red. We all just decided this was a form of embezzlement or credit card fraud by Indochine, and my coworker quickly informed her credit card company.

So, don’t go to Indochine. If someone tells you they love it, they are clearly morons who either like to waste money, or have awful tastes. I only suggest going to Indochine if you are one of those sheep who goes to PF Changs when they want Chinese.

Jason Orkin, Connoisseur