Killing Rats

Just an excerpt from an article sent to me:

“Effective rat disposal means resorting to killing rats in the multitudes without having to deal with stinking bodies hidden in the nooks and crannies of your house.

The best way to take care of any infestation problem is to trap the rats, then dispose of them, but not only is that slow and tedious, but the possibility that the rats will fall for your trap is a bit small. The use of rodenticides is frowned upon in some communities, especially if used in places where food is prepared, and could also possibly be the cause of the spread of rat-related sicknesses, such as the bubonic plague – fleas and mites from rats carrying the diseases will transfer from the dead bodies to other organisms.

So that, again, leaves you with the traps. Available traps include glue traps, snap traps, and the tin can traps. Each of these traps work under the premise that the rat will starve itself to death.

Unfortunately, this isn’t always the case: some of these traps are rather easy to escape from, making the intent to kill ineffective at best. But that’s isn’t all there is: the toughest part about removing and killing them with traps is that rats initially tend to be very suspicious of new things, going out of their way to avoid so much as a rock on their usual path, so such things as glue traps and mousetraps will dutifully be avoided by the rats.

A slow process of elimination – but effective if it can be pulled off well enough – is to shoot the rats with guns (doesn’t matter if you use air guns, or real guns, although the latter would require licenses). It also makes getting rid of the body an easier task.

Some people prefer to use the combination of slow-acting rat poison and traps. You feed the rats with killing food, and wait for them to get caught in the traps. The poison makes them too weak to break free from even something as light as a glue trap, and in a couple of days – sometimes, in a couple of hours – you’ll have yourself a dead rat.”

The Calm Before The Storm

As Hurricane Season is coming to a “close,” now is the best time to start thinking about hurricane shutters.  Listen, you don’t want to be one of these jackasses nailing sheets of plywood over their window with a hurricane less than a day away from landfall.  You are going to want to have something set up ahead of time.

Those looking for hurricane shutters in Miami, I suggest Alufab. They are reliable. Also, with the weather not blistering hot, one can set up their shutters in relatively cool temperatures.

Generational Gaps and Movies

Last weekend I was watching one of my favorite movies, Blade Runner, with my kids.  All of a sudden, my son bursts out laughing, and points to the screen.

“Wow, look at that old product placement!”

I looked at him confused, rewound the movie and noticed what he was pointing at: there are numerous Coca-cola ads throughout this film.  Blade Runner has been one of my favorite movies for the past 25 years and I had never noticed those ads until now.  It made me wonder what else had been subliminally placed into my generations films that we have missed.

Fortunately our children seem to have been weened on this sort of thing, even though they don’t realize cartoons are just a 30 minute commercial, or a 20 minute commerical with 10 minutes of additional commercials.

My son also reminded me of all the blatant product placement throughout the Transformers movie, and we spoke about what ET did to Reese’s Pieces.  Guess product placement isn’t as conspicuous as I thought.

-Jason Orkin, Oblivious Viewer

Thumbplay Lawsuit and How It Affects Me

As an acquaintance of William Haselden, Assistant Attorney General of the the so-so state I live in, Florida, I was pointed out about the website Thumbplay. I won’t lie, I have also used the site to purchase some ringtones for my children; I use the standard ringtones since I don’t even know who JayZ or Katy Perry is, nor do I care to.

Anyways, it turns out Thumbplay has a frivolous lawsuit against them. I’ll be keeping my tabs on this, as I just love things like this in my profession.

Jason Orkin, Musically Disinclined

In Home Exercise

Lately its been pouring as I have arived home, so my much awaited summer jogs and swims have had to be canceled.  I do not enjoy this.  I wait all summer long to be able to hop into the pool, swim a few laps, work on my tan, and work out.  I also enjoy running through the neighborhood, with or without my dog.  Because of the weather, these have had to been canceled.

I don’t believe in buying exercise equipment.  I have seen far too many cases of them ending up in a garage, covered in dust, used less than 5 times.  I refuse to waste money like that.  The same goes with a gym membership.  Paying to use equipment that I’ll probably be too lazy to get out to is not something I would do.  So, I enjoy free exercise around my home.  Now I’m stuck doing it in my home.

Don’t get me wrong, I enjoy sit ups and cruches as much as the next person, but to be honest, I like to follow those up with a jog or swim.  Not staring at the pouring rain outside my window.  Today has been bright, hopefully it continues until I get home.

Jason Orkin, Exerciser

A tribute to a medium man

George Carlin expired the other day. Yes, I use that term, because that was his preferred term for the dead. As a pre-dead, I can only hope that his afterlife is that of what he wanted.

I’ve been a fan of Carlin for years. I have his spoken word albums, his books, and a number of movies in which he stared. The man was funny because he didn’t hold anything back, and attacked that which he saw as flawed in this world. I concur with a lot of his views, and disagree with some, but that is what made the man great – the ability to create dialogue and to embrace the views of others.

I do have a complaint, however. It seems for every great comedian we lose, 20 shitty ones take his place. And yes, I said his place for a reason. Now there are some very funny female comedians. I myself am partial to Margaret Cho. But for the most part female comedians are obnoxious lesbians who can only make jokes about being a lesbian. Seeing as how I’m not one, I don’t find these stories to be humorous. And not I’m not nickpicking ladies, male comedians who talk only about sex suck as well. Its just most male comedians can occassionally change it up a notch. The good ones can, at least. We have far too many male comedians who just run on about stuff that isn’t even funny. Why can’t they die, while greats like Bill Hicks had to go before their time.

Of course I could also go on about how similar this is in the music industry, but that is a post for another time.

Jason Orkin, Mourner

Office Guests are like jumbo jets…

…you can hear their noise all around you, but you can’t do anything about it.

There are some loud and obnoxious people in my office. Coincidentally, they are Argentinian, which means they don’t shut up. Unless someone white is in the room. Then they are quiet and can’t make eye contact with you. But that’s another story. Anyways, these charming ladies talk and talk and talk, and then their cell phone rings, which the whole office hears, and they talk into that. After that conversation, they talk about it to the other lady. And occasionally, they get guests.

Now I understand that sitting in an office for 9 hours isn’t exactly fun, and is uplifted by having friends over. However, this is a case of limited use. I have had friends at the office. They came in, we had a brief conversation, they left. Lasted under 10 minutes. Today, the cackling witches had a male friend over for somewhere around 2 hours. And we heard every minute of their chattering. It got to the point where my co-worker started putting golf balls against their wall. No effect. There is a time and place to sit around and rave on and on. Its called afterwork.

I need to repurchase a foghorn.

Jason Orkin, Anti-Social

iPhones and iJerks

I, like over 90% of the world, use a PC. Yes, the Mac may be more stylish and simplistic to use, but seeing as how I don’t use any graphic or video editing software, I have no need for a “pretty computer.” In fact, I feel if anyone buys a computer because of how it looks instead of how it works, they should be shot in the head by the prettiest gun.

Nevertheless, Steve Jobs has some mind control device, or as my coworker calls it, RDF, and has been able to sucker a lot of people into the iPhone. Now I for one hate people who talk on cellphones in public. You know, walk down the street as if that call is the most important thing in the world. Even worse is when they do that while driving. I don’t know how many times some idiot has either ran a red light, a stop sign, or made a turn that came an inch from hitting my car because they couldn’t put the phone down. Now there is a difference if you have to ask someone a question, like when you are in the grocery store, or your kid calls you to tell you they will be late coming home. But I see people on the metro rail get on in the middle of a conversation and leave still on that conversation. This is uncalled for, and makes you wonder why neither side of that conversation has enough of a life to actually talk in person.

Back to the subject at hand, my complaint about the iPhone. This things had taken the obnoxious in public phone user to another level. Due to the iPhone having a touch screen, they always have to be showing it off to their friends. “Look, I can move the menu, and click on this, and this pops up.” Also, while everyone and their parents have cell phones, you don’t always see them. Not the case with the iPhone. If someone owns an iPhone, they have to make sure everyone around them knows about it, by either having it out at all times, or conspicuously reading from it, listening to music on it, etc.

Quite frankly, I have a cell phone for one reason: to make phone calls. That’s all I need it for. And that’s all anyone should need it for. If you buy a cell phone as a status item, you are a jerk, and I really hope we start seeing more cases of a car driver, talking on their cell phone or reading an email, hits a jaywalker listening to music on their cell phone.

Jason Orkin, Technophobe

Quality over Cost

In regards to the title, I am referring to food, and complaints about the quality of the food as opposed to the cost. On Brickell, like most business areas, there are a number of restaurants, which to put it bluntly, are overpriced. Now that isn’t to say that there isn’t high quality food at a high cost, like Rosa Mexicana. However you also have a P.F. Changs. And yes, I know a lot of people rave about P.F. Changs, but quite frankly, if I want Chinese, I will go to a CHINESE restaurant, not some over salted, over priced restaurant where I am paying for the brand more than I am the crappy food.

There are many other restaurants, as I have mentioned in the past that do not live up to their expectation. Take Gordon Biersch. At first, this was a mainstay at the office. However, it has become quite apparent that food-wise, this place is a crappy, disorganized version of Chili’s trying to seem more upscale. I’m sorry, but if the majority of your menu is burgers and sandwiches, you need to leave the aura of pretension behind. And lately, the place has just been abysmal. A few weeks ago, the kitchen was hindered, and we were subjected to a limited menu. We left. Two weeks ago we were suckered into trying their seasonal beer (It was as if they repackaged Budweiser; i.e. it wasn’t impressive at all) and their Shrimp Poboy was fried salad shrimp on a hoagie, not in one. Last week my co-worker and I both got sick on their burgers. Now I won’t deny that their beers are fantastic. I love the Golden Export and the Marzen, as well I look forward to their Oktoberfest seasonal. But at this point, the place has become a slightly classy bar, with good bar food, but not a place I would attend for a real meal. And at the menu over $10 per item, it is low quality, high cost.

Ultimately, if you want a cheap burger or sandwich, it is far better to walk down the road to Tobacco Road, the oldest alcohol serving establishment in Dade County. It has gone through a number of changes over the decades, but will give you what you want; an opposite case from Gordon Biersh providing decent quality and low cost.

Then of course you have the cafeteria style restaurants. In them, you can get main course with two sides and a drink for less than $10. This is a lot more food than other restaurants, and it usually tastes much better. You get no image for eating there, but you do get satisfied. Unfortunately, one of the more diverse cafeterias has become finicky: depending on who the cook is, the food will either be fantastic, or warm cardboard. Low Quality, Low Cost, actual satisfaction.

You also have more restaurants advertising specific lunch menus with lunch prices to compete with the fact that 2 gallons of gas costs more than a meal. Mi-kan, the great Japanese restaurant on Brickell, actually operated by someone from Japan, has recently places 4 items on a “New Lunch Menu” for $8 and comes with rice, a california roll and soup. This is a great deal, but I still enjoy the bento boxes which are $3 more, but provide a good amount of tempura and salad as well. High Quality, Medium Cost.

Finally you do have the High Quality, High Cost restaurants, like Morton’s Steak House, and Abocado. Morton’s is one of the best restaurants on Brickell. Granted its no Bern’s (then again, nothing is), but it is a solid restaurant if you want a good steak and aren’t afraid to drop some cash. There are a lot of these in the area as I said.

Speaking of lunch, we are heading out now for lunch. New Employee means lunch on the company dollar, so hopefully it is one of the nicer places.

Jason Orkin, Eater

DirectBuy Strikes Back

DirectBuy has recently started up on YouTube. Hopefully videos like this will detract you naysayers.

More to come.

Jason Orkin, Consumer